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Success With Emotional Intelligence by Priya Deelchand

Success With Emotional Intelligence
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Priya_Deelchand]Priya Deelchand

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions and the emotions of other people in positive ways. Today we can clearly see that being only "book smart" and having a high intelligence quotient or IQ does not guarantee a successful, happy and fulfilled life. There are many people in all parts of the world who are very brilliant academically but are inept at dealing with people and successful at work or in their personal relationships. Academic intelligence is not enough on its own to be successful in life. IQ can help you get a job and earn a living, but it does not show you how to live a life. When it comes to happiness and success in life, emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, succeed at work, and achieve your career and personal goals. 

Emotionally intelligent people are able to recognize their own emotional state and the emotional states of others and as a result they connect more easily with people. They therefore communicate better, form stronger relationships, achieve greater success at work, and lead a more fulfilling life. John Gottman was right when he said "In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships." 

Emotional Intelligence consists of five basic components namely self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills. The first three competencies are intra-personal and concern your ability to know and manage yourself. Empathy and social skills are inter-personal competencies and concern your ability to interact and get along with others. The better your intra-personal skills, the easier it becomes to express your inter-personal skills. Mastering these skills will allow you to live a better, happier and more successful and fulfilled life.

Self-awareness is the first component of emotional intelligence. It is the ability to know which emotions you are feeling and why. When you understand your emotions, it is easier for you to acknowledge and control your emotions and prevent your feelings from ruling you. You also become more confident as you do not let your emotions get out of control. Being self-aware also enables you to take an honest look at yourself and better know your strengths and weaknesses, and work on these areas to achieve better outcomes for yourself and others. 

Self-Regulation is the ability to control your emotions and impulses and choose the emotions that you want to experience instead of being the victim of whatever emotions arise. When you are able to manage your emotional state, it becomes easier for you to think before you act and this prevents you from making impulsive and careless decisions. This skill also allows you to transform negative exhausting emotions into more positive and productive ones 

The third component of emotional intelligence is motivation. This is about using your emotions to remain positive, optimistic and persistent rather than negative and pessimistic. When you have a high degree of emotional intelligence you tend to be very motivated, productive and efficient in everything they do. You also use your emotions positively to take the right actions to persist and achieve your goals even in the face of considerable adversity or difficulty. 

Empathy is the fourth element of emotional intelligence. It is the ability to truly recognize and understand the feelings and point of view of people around you. Empathetic people usually possess the ability to listen effectively and accurately to others and are normally excellent at managing relationships, improving communication, building trust and relating to others.

The fifth component of emotional intelligence is social skills. Emotionally intelligent people have good social skills and are excellent at building and maintaining relationships. When you are highly emotionally intelligent, you no longer focus on your own success first and you always have other's best interests in mind. You always promote an environment where people cooperate with each other instead of compete with one another and you always help others develop and grow.

Today emotional intelligence is a key to success in life and the good news is that whatever your actual level of emotional intelligence, you can improve it The best way to develop your emotional skills is through practice. You can then become more efficient at recognizing and managing your emotions as well as the emotions of others and lead a happier, more successful and fulfilled life. Always remember the wise words of Daniel Goleman who said, "What really matters for success, character, happiness and life long achievements is a definite set of emotional skills - your EQ - not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests."

Priya Deelchand is a Corporate Trainer, Life and Business Coach and Founder of Success Strategies Consultants Ltd. She conducts several workshops on motivation, emotional intelligence, success principles, management and leadership skills. She also coaches and helps people worldwide in both English and French using Law of Attraction, EFT and other powerful techniques. Please visit us at http://successstrategiesconsultants.com or call us on +230 7580695.

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Success-With-Emotional-Intelligence&id=7119853] Success With Emotional Intelligence

Moving Out of Our Comfort Zone to Achieve Success by Priya Deelchand

Moving Out of Our Comfort Zone to Achieve Success

By Priya Deelchand

We all want to be successful in life, yet today, very few people can truly say that they have achieved the success that they always desired. One of the main reasons why most of the successful people in the world achieved extraordinary success is because they were able to think differently, take risks and move out of their comfort zones. Most people remain unsuccessful and stay in their comfort zones because of fears, limiting beliefs, habits or simply because of laziness. In fact, our comfort zone is a place in which we feel safe and secure and where there is no sense of risk. It is made up of the known, the accepted and the expected and it can be physical, emotional, intellectual or financial.

For most people, moving out of the comfort zone can be very frightening and embarrassing. But it is certainly the single most important step we can make towards achieving peak performance in anything we do. We must take actions we have not previously taken if we expect to achieve different results than what we have been getting. Tony Robbins once said "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten."

One of the best ways to move out of our comfort zone is to face our fears and do the things we fear most. In fact, most of our fears are unnecessary and counter productive. We frighten ourselves unnecessarily about things that will never happen. Franklin D Roosevelt was right when he said "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." We should face our fears and see them for what they really are. Once we face our fears, the death of fear is certain. What are fears anyway? According to psychologists, F.E.A.R is just "False Evidence Appearing Real". We should make it a habit to do something that frightens us every day. The more we push ourselves out of our comfort zone and do the things that scare us, the easier it becomes.

We can also get out of our comfort zone and achieve success by breaking our habits. Our habits determine our outcomes and our negative habits always create negative consequences that prevent us from getting the success we want. In order to become more successful, we can start by replacing our bad habits with more productive ones. Research shows that it takes only 21 days to develop a habit. According to Paul Getty, the individual who wants to reach the top in business must appreciate the might and force of habit. He must be quick to break those habits that can break him and hasten to adopt those practices that will become the habits that help him achieve the success he desires.

Another great way to get out of our comfort zone is to get rid of our self-limiting beliefs. These limiting beliefs are things we believe about ourselves that place limits on our aptitudes. Examples of self-limiting beliefs are when we think that we are not good enough to do certain things or we are not intelligent enough to succeed in life. Most of these beliefs are not true, but they make us stay in our comfort zones and play small in life. We can eliminate our limiting beliefs by becoming aware of them, identifying them and replacing them with more positive beliefs.

In order to succeed in anything, we have to break free of our comfort zone, and step into the unknown. Getting out of our comfort zone is not always easy and often requires lots of hard work, discipline and persistence. Brian Tracy once said, "Ninety to ninety-five percent of people will withdraw to the comfort zone when what they try doesn't work. Only that small percentage, five or ten percent, will continually improve themselves; they will continually push themselves out into the zone of discomfort, and these are always the highest performers in every field." We must make a commitment with ourselves to do all that it takes to overcome our fears, eliminate our limiting belief and break our bad habits to get the success that peak performers achieve.

Priya Deelchand is a Corporate Trainer and Motivational Speaker and Founder of Success Strategies Consultants Ltd. She coaches and helps people worldwide in both English and French using Law of Attraction, EFT and other powerful techniques. If you want to become more successful in your personal and professional life, please visit us at http://successstrategiesconsultants.com or http://priyadeelchand.blogspot.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Priya_Deelchand

http://EzineArticles.com/?Moving-Out-of-Our-Comfort-Zone-to-Achieve-Success&id=5212725

Your Weakness Can Become Your Greatest Strength! (posted by Priya Deelchand)

This is a story of one 10-year-old boy who decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident. The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn't understand why, after three months of training, the master had taught him only one move. "Sensei," the boy finally said, "Shouldn't I be learning more moves?"

"This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you'll ever need to know," the Sensei replied. Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.

Several months later, the Sensei took the boy to his first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match. Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.

This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out. He was about to stop the match when the Sensei intervened. "No," the Sensei insisted, "Let him continue."

Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament. He was the champion.

On the way home, the boy and Sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind. "Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?" "You won for two reasons," the Sensei answered. "First, you've almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defence for that move is for your opponent to grab your left arm."

The boy's greatest weakness had become his greatest strength.

Author unknown

Posted by Priya Deelchand

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The Seven Wonders Of The World (shared by Priya Deelchand)

A group of students was asked to list what they thought were the present "Seven Wonders of the World." Though there were some disagreements, the following received the most votes:

1. Egypt's Great Pyramids

2. Taj Mahal

3. Grand Canyon

4. Panama Canal

5. Empire State Building

6. St. Peter's Basilica

7. China's Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noticed that one quiet student hadn't turned in her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many."

The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help." The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the 'Seven Wonders of the World' are:

1. to see

2. to hear

3. to touch

4. to taste

5. to feel

6. to laugh

7. and to love."

The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for granted are truly wondrous!

Author unknown

Shared by Priya Deelchand

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Don't We All? (posted by Priya Deelchand)

Don't We All

By Author Unknown

One evening I was parked in front of the mall wiping off my car. I had just come from the car wash and was waiting for my wife to finish work. Coming my way from across the parking lot was what society would consider a bum. From the looks of him he had no car, no home, no clean clothes and no money.

There are times when you feel generous, but there are times that you just don't want to be bothered. This was one of the "Don't want to be bothered" times! "Hope he doesn't ask me for money," I thought. He didn't. He came and sat on the curb in front of the bus stop and he didn't look like he could have enough money to even ride the bus.

After a few minutes he spoke. "That's a very nice car," he said. He was ragged, but had an air of dignity around him. I said "Thanks," and continued wiping off my car. He sat there quietly as I worked. The expected plea for money never came. As the silence between us widened, something inside said, "Ask him if he needs any help." I was sure that he would say yes, but I held true to the inner voice.

"Do you need any help?" I asked. He answered in three simple but profound words that I shall never forget. We often look for wisdom in great accomplishments. I expect it from those of higher learning and accomplishments. I expected nothing but an outstretched grimy hand. He spoke three words that shook me, "Don't we all?" he said. I needed help. Maybe not for bus fare or a place to sleep, but I needed help. I reached in my wallet and gave him not only enough for bus fare but enough to get a warm meal and shelter for the day.

Those three little words still ring true. No matter how much you have, no matter how much you have accomplished, you need help too. No matter how little you have, no matter how loaded you are with problems, even without money or a place to sleep, you can give help. Even if it's just a compliment, you can give that!

You never know when you may see someone that appears to have it all. They are waiting on you to give them what they don't have. A different perspective on life, a glimpse of something beautiful, a respite from daily chaos, that only you, through a torn world can see.

Maybe the man was just a homeless stranger wandering the streets. Maybe he was more than that. Maybe he was sent by a power that is great and wise to minister to a soul too comfortable in himself. Maybe God looked down, called an Angel, dressed him like a bum and then said, "Go minister to that man cleaning the car, that man needs help."

Author unknown

Posted by Priya Deelchand

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Zig Ziglar - Attitude Makes All The Difference

Achieving Success By Expecting Success (Posted by Priya Deelchand)

Dearest Friends,

Hope you are doing great!

Here is a great article written by Zig Ziglar that I would like
to share with you. It is called:


Achieving Success By Expecting Success

When you plan and prepare carefully, you can legitimately
expect to have success in your efforts. When you recognize
and develop the winning qualities that you were born with,
the winner you were born to be emerges.

When you plan and prepare to make a sale, for example, you
can legitimately expect to make a sale. Although not all
your expectations are going to come to pass, you give
yourself an infinitely better chance of succeeding by taking
the proper steps.

Regardless of your goal--losing weight, making more sales,
furthering your education, earning a promotion, saving money
for a new home or an exotic vacation--you can expect to
achieve your goal if you plan and prepare for it.

Also understand that the path from where you are to where
you want to be is not always smooth and straight. The reason
for the twists and bumps is simple, and it has nothing to do
with you. It has more to do with the fact that not everyone
is as interested in your success as you are.

Some people may accidentally hinder your efforts; others who
are in competition with you and have little or no integrity
may try to sabotage your efforts.

Keep in mind, though, that when you hit those roadblocks
your character, commitment, and attitude are the determining
factors in your success. Carefully review your plan of
action, seek wise counsel, and be particularly careful to
feed your mind good information.

An optimistic, positive mind is far more likely to come up
with creative solutions than a mind that dwells on setbacks
and difficulties.

The Bottom line: expect success and you can achieve
success.


So dearest friends, let us all follow the advise of the famous
Zig Ziglar and let us all live successful lives!


Much Love,
Priya:))


Posted by Priya Deelchand in Facebook group:
Happiness Is Your Birthright!

The Power of Positive Talk (Posted by Priya Deelchand)

Another excellent lesson posted by my friend Priya Deelchand in my favourite Facebook group, Happiness Is Your Birthright!

My dearest friends,

Hope you are all doing great! Here is a great lesson sent to me by my lovely friend, Sangeeta Ramdin that I would like to share with you today!

The Power of Positive Talk by Dr Abdul Kalam

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did. fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal . You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made

If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.

If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."

People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.

These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, " I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue.

Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.

Notice when you or other people use them.

Ø But: Negates any words that are stated before it.

Ø Try: Presupposes failure.

Ø If: Presupposes that you may not.

Ø Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener..

Ø Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.

Ø Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)

Ø Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.

Ø Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

Examples:

Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"

Likely result: Drops the ball

Better language: "Catch the ball!"

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."

Likely result: Watches more television.

Better language: "I read that too much television makes people stupid." You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!

Exercise:

Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Have an excellent day!

Much Love,

Priya:))

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Happiness Is Your Birthright! by Priya Deelchand

Happiness Is Your Birthright!

Author: Priya Deelchand

We all aim to live a happy and fulfilled life today. Many of us can easily afford to buy most of the material things in the world, yet we are not truly happy. Most of us are desperately looking for authentic happiness as we have come to realize that happiness is an essential part for living a fulfilled life. In fact, happiness is our birthright but very few people can sincerely claim to have found true happiness in today's world.

The Dalai Lama once said "From the moment of birth, every human being wants happiness and does not want suffering. Neither social conditioning nor education nor ideology affects this. From the very core of our being, we simply desire contentment. I don't know whether the universe, with its countless galaxies, stars and planets, has a deeper meaning or not, but at the very least, it is clear that we humans who live on this earth face the task of making a happy life for ourselves."

We spend a lifetime searching for happiness. Most of us think that happiness is difficult to find and that it is achieved through physical things and circumstances and that we must look for it in the physical world. We very often say things like "If only I could buy that car, then I would be truly happy." Or "If only I could find the right partner, that would be all I need to be happy." Or "If only I could earn this job and have a successful career, then life would be truly fulfilling." Or "If only I could buy my dream house, then life would be just perfect." All these different statements show that most of the time, we tend to look for true happiness in external things and conditions and as such our happiness tend to be only temporary and short lived. Once our desire is fulfilled in external things, we become unhappy again and tend to look for more and more new external things to find happiness.

Most of us are finding it very difficult to find true happiness because we are looking for happiness in all the wrong places. The truth is that happiness is out birthright and it is a lot closer and easier to achieve than we think. The search for happiness starts and ends within ourselves. According to Democritus, happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold, the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul. We just have to go within and find it. Once we know this truth and start looking for true happiness inside of us instead of outside, our life will no longer be the same and we will find more joy, fulfilment, peace and abundance in our lives. James Oppenheim was right when he said "The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet."

Happiness is a choice and we have all been provided the free will to choose or not choose happiness. We can all be as happy as we choose to be. We must all make the choice to be happy every single day of our life. Always listen to the wise words of Groucho Marx who once said "Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

The time to be happy is now. Sharon Salzberg rightly said, It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for love and happiness, the light has been turned on.

Let us all savour the beauty of life and live to the fullest. Let us all choose to make each day the happiest day of our life! We all deserve to be happy now and forever!

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/happiness-is-your-birthright-1981692.html

About the AuthorPriya Deelchand is a Life and Business Coach and Founder of Success Strategies Consultants Ltd. She coaches and helps people worldwide in both English and French using Law of Attraction, EFT and other powerful techniques. If you want to live a happier and more fulfilled life, please visit us at http://www.successstrategiesconsultants.com